The Nin9s/The Nines (2007)
The most recent of my fascinating movie collection is none other than 'The Nin9s'. Funny, serious, and deeply disturbing all at the same time to create an entirely bizarre movie. Starring Ryan Reynolds (all hail!), and some other people who probably got picked cause they had a funny sounding name. The movie follows Reynolds as he portrays three different characters in three different stories which are all intertwined by reference to "nine" or "the nines". Also the two other co-stars take different roles within each of the stories which will get you pondering as to what significance the number nine plays in this, and why does Ryan Reynolds seem attractive to even the straightest of men? That doesn't include me of course. It's just a random comment which appears every time you search for poor Ryan on the internet. There's not much else I can really say about the movie without completely ruining it. It is one of those movies which you have to see for yourself. It won't be a complete mind-bender like some movies I know, and to be completely honest, the ending is a bit of a let down in this film. You assume it's going to be a complex storyline and an unpredictable ending...well the latter is true. Doesn't mean ending is good though. The idea behind the movie, the storyline, the acting, etc are all good. The ending is just stupid and weird, and thats all I'm going to say on the matter. Still worth watching if you can figure out to open that DVD tray or open that Blu-ray tray. The latter being the situation if by chance you are a Satan worshipper.
7.9/10
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Already stated, but what the hell...
Thrice - The Alchemy Index Vol. III & IV (Air & Earth) (2008)
I have already stated what I think of this album but I think it's only fair I continue to share this information. I recently acquired the album and have not been able to stop listening to it. There's not much more that I can add on to what I've said in a previous post apart from the fact that most other reviewers, fans or not, have found the album thoroughly entertaining. Well worth a listen. Plus there is an interesting ending to the album. I knew what it was immediately but see if you can figure it out yourself.
9.5/10
I have already stated what I think of this album but I think it's only fair I continue to share this information. I recently acquired the album and have not been able to stop listening to it. There's not much more that I can add on to what I've said in a previous post apart from the fact that most other reviewers, fans or not, have found the album thoroughly entertaining. Well worth a listen. Plus there is an interesting ending to the album. I knew what it was immediately but see if you can figure it out yourself.
9.5/10
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I feel ashamed...
While attempting to find movies, games, etc that I can review for you, I made the fatal error of watching "The Simpsons Movie".
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Watching this movie is enough to make you want to confess all your sins to God, and send yourself to hell so that the Lord Almighty cannot smite his/her awesomeness upon you. Not that he/she would, but you're all too thick to know that anyway. Well, lets get down to ripping this movie apart. Stupid, majorly unfunny at points, took too long to get released, but it is far better than the tv series is right now. The sheer plot of this movie took approximately 15 years to accomplish, but "accomplish" implies they gained something other than the worlds shitiest movie award. I know it took this long because the script has been circling the drain since I was a little cynical boy who enjoyed watching The Simpsons every night and day, but their strength in jokes has plummeted with their dignity as the show has gone on for far too long. Fox continues to shove shit like this in our faces while they continue to cancel great tv shows such as Firefly and Arrested Development. You think they might have learned that despite the fact that The Simpsons are still, somehow, popular, you really need to get something new around. I think that's why Family Guy was created. Rude, racist, but hilariously funny. Yet, sometimes I feel their humour is lacking a few things every now and then. But lets get back to the matter at hand. Although the movie manages to shove its hand down its throat and share its vomit covered jokes, the movie just lacks the laughs I would expect. In fairness, I never expected this movie to be good, but I thought I'd watch it for the sake of it, nothing more. If somehow this movie became the beacon of light that everyone claimed it might be then I might renounce my faith and create the Church of Unlikely Gods, but unfortunately that never happened. The few highlights of the movie are watching Green Day die, having everyone in the town of Springfield trying to kill The Simpsons, and also the part where it was far more entertaining than the current tv series. But that last comment could be disregarded as it could be seen as an episode with several parts, so technically it is as funny/unfunny as the series, but with all of it combined you come up with a smile that may cross my face.
5.7/10
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Watching this movie is enough to make you want to confess all your sins to God, and send yourself to hell so that the Lord Almighty cannot smite his/her awesomeness upon you. Not that he/she would, but you're all too thick to know that anyway. Well, lets get down to ripping this movie apart. Stupid, majorly unfunny at points, took too long to get released, but it is far better than the tv series is right now. The sheer plot of this movie took approximately 15 years to accomplish, but "accomplish" implies they gained something other than the worlds shitiest movie award. I know it took this long because the script has been circling the drain since I was a little cynical boy who enjoyed watching The Simpsons every night and day, but their strength in jokes has plummeted with their dignity as the show has gone on for far too long. Fox continues to shove shit like this in our faces while they continue to cancel great tv shows such as Firefly and Arrested Development. You think they might have learned that despite the fact that The Simpsons are still, somehow, popular, you really need to get something new around. I think that's why Family Guy was created. Rude, racist, but hilariously funny. Yet, sometimes I feel their humour is lacking a few things every now and then. But lets get back to the matter at hand. Although the movie manages to shove its hand down its throat and share its vomit covered jokes, the movie just lacks the laughs I would expect. In fairness, I never expected this movie to be good, but I thought I'd watch it for the sake of it, nothing more. If somehow this movie became the beacon of light that everyone claimed it might be then I might renounce my faith and create the Church of Unlikely Gods, but unfortunately that never happened. The few highlights of the movie are watching Green Day die, having everyone in the town of Springfield trying to kill The Simpsons, and also the part where it was far more entertaining than the current tv series. But that last comment could be disregarded as it could be seen as an episode with several parts, so technically it is as funny/unfunny as the series, but with all of it combined you come up with a smile that may cross my face.
5.7/10
Friday, April 11, 2008
Some old stuff...
I have reviewed the main things I've gotten in the past wee while so, as the title suggest, I'm going to look at some old DVDs, games, etc. Please tell me if I give you too much credit for figuring out what this post entails from the title.
Serenity (2005)
This movie, since its release, has been in the select few movies that are my favourites. When I say "select few" I do in fact mean 'one of the forty gazzillion movies that I liked in general'. Now that that's cleared up, lets talk space westerns. Yes, 'Serenity' is in fact a space western. We never saw it coming. But despite it's absurd genre, it explains the reason why the two have combined. Earth became over-populated, needed to find new planets to colonize, blah blah, some people didn't like the government so they launched a war, etc etc. That's the basic back story. The actual plot of the movie is that a girl named River Tam that has been experimented on by this evil government called the "Alliance". She is immediately rescued by her brother Simon who has given up his lifes dream of being a doctor to save her. He then takes his place upon the Firefly class vessel 'Serenity' which is manned by the meanest bunch his doctors you can find. No, I'm kidding. They are a crew of rebels/smugglers determined make ends meet. But River holds a dark secret which was why the government was all to willing to experiment on her and have now sent an assassin on her trail causing havoc for the rest of the crew as well. That's the gist of it. If it hasn't caught your attention then I'd still recommend watching it just so I feel I've accomplished something here today. Not exactly an all star cast but there will be a few familiar faces. e.g. Mr. Universe (Yes, that's his name) is Charlie Epps from 'Numb3rs'. Wash is Steve the Pirate from 'Dodgeball'. That's just a few examples.
Please watch...
8.1/10
Serenity (2005)
This movie, since its release, has been in the select few movies that are my favourites. When I say "select few" I do in fact mean 'one of the forty gazzillion movies that I liked in general'. Now that that's cleared up, lets talk space westerns. Yes, 'Serenity' is in fact a space western. We never saw it coming. But despite it's absurd genre, it explains the reason why the two have combined. Earth became over-populated, needed to find new planets to colonize, blah blah, some people didn't like the government so they launched a war, etc etc. That's the basic back story. The actual plot of the movie is that a girl named River Tam that has been experimented on by this evil government called the "Alliance". She is immediately rescued by her brother Simon who has given up his lifes dream of being a doctor to save her. He then takes his place upon the Firefly class vessel 'Serenity' which is manned by the meanest bunch his doctors you can find. No, I'm kidding. They are a crew of rebels/smugglers determined make ends meet. But River holds a dark secret which was why the government was all to willing to experiment on her and have now sent an assassin on her trail causing havoc for the rest of the crew as well. That's the gist of it. If it hasn't caught your attention then I'd still recommend watching it just so I feel I've accomplished something here today. Not exactly an all star cast but there will be a few familiar faces. e.g. Mr. Universe (Yes, that's his name) is Charlie Epps from 'Numb3rs'. Wash is Steve the Pirate from 'Dodgeball'. That's just a few examples.
Please watch...
8.1/10
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Something I missed out
I made the fatal error yesterday of not including a game in the reviews. Now, due to my poor decision, my desperately required manhood is threatened by a midget Russian girl who insists on stapling everything. And I mean everything!
Game: Burnout Paradise (2008)
Although the world of Burnout has been going on for several years, we automatically assume that another game of a similar manner will in fact be the same. But what separates this game from the other bastard children brought onto this earth by Criterion is that it has one major difference. Free-roam. A lot more games are adding in free-roaming because it shows off all the amazing and colourful graphics that they have spent years developing. You still get the same game modes as you did before, but because of the free-roam feature you are ending up at the top of a fucking mountain where you can choose whether it's more fun to find a follow a set road to get to your target or if its better to use the board from Twister and let that decide your direction. Previously, you would follow a straight road that threw in a few bends just to keep all the people with the mental age of 3 entertained. It worked though. Kept me entertained for hours. But back to highly recommendable features of the new game. As I mentioned before, free-roaming allows the developer to show off their awesome graphics. An example of this would be car crashes. I have spent time after time just racing along the road in the fastest car possible just so I can crash into some asshole civilian car that has remarkably just appeared out of no where. You will get to see the car crumple up in slow motion as the cars collide. I think it's amazing what they've done with that game, but there are some minor things I don't like. For starters, the world takes hold of one fairly sized city on one side of the map and the rest is the biggest collection of the most bloody annoying country roads you could ever come across. Whenever I complete a race, somehow, due the game having some sort of an obscure hate for me, I'll end up in the countryside, away up in the mountains. My solutions to this problem are this: speed on down the hill and hate myself for wasting such precious time, find a race or similar so that I don't notice the crappy journey home, or, if I'm really pissed off, I'll turn the game off. Another issue I take with game is that whenever you get a new car, and your always getting a new car, you get the choice between the speedy but persistently weak cars, or the strong, steady cars that look like they've been designed by a combination show called 'Queer eye for the straight car'.
There's not much else to say about the game except that is incredibly good fun, but a bit repetitive. But then again most things are now. Walking to the shops is a little worse than the same daunting task it used to be. Now you have to dodge the occasional granny on her scooter or the man who thinks the pavement is a sign to score points as he attempts to run everyone over. The game is worth getting, but don't expect a grand storyline. It's a do this, this and this, if you choose to, and then you've completed the game. You could probably get the same amount of fun when you and your friends decide to go to the local supermarket and play battle trolleys.
8.9/10
Game: Burnout Paradise (2008)
Although the world of Burnout has been going on for several years, we automatically assume that another game of a similar manner will in fact be the same. But what separates this game from the other bastard children brought onto this earth by Criterion is that it has one major difference. Free-roam. A lot more games are adding in free-roaming because it shows off all the amazing and colourful graphics that they have spent years developing. You still get the same game modes as you did before, but because of the free-roam feature you are ending up at the top of a fucking mountain where you can choose whether it's more fun to find a follow a set road to get to your target or if its better to use the board from Twister and let that decide your direction. Previously, you would follow a straight road that threw in a few bends just to keep all the people with the mental age of 3 entertained. It worked though. Kept me entertained for hours. But back to highly recommendable features of the new game. As I mentioned before, free-roaming allows the developer to show off their awesome graphics. An example of this would be car crashes. I have spent time after time just racing along the road in the fastest car possible just so I can crash into some asshole civilian car that has remarkably just appeared out of no where. You will get to see the car crumple up in slow motion as the cars collide. I think it's amazing what they've done with that game, but there are some minor things I don't like. For starters, the world takes hold of one fairly sized city on one side of the map and the rest is the biggest collection of the most bloody annoying country roads you could ever come across. Whenever I complete a race, somehow, due the game having some sort of an obscure hate for me, I'll end up in the countryside, away up in the mountains. My solutions to this problem are this: speed on down the hill and hate myself for wasting such precious time, find a race or similar so that I don't notice the crappy journey home, or, if I'm really pissed off, I'll turn the game off. Another issue I take with game is that whenever you get a new car, and your always getting a new car, you get the choice between the speedy but persistently weak cars, or the strong, steady cars that look like they've been designed by a combination show called 'Queer eye for the straight car'.
There's not much else to say about the game except that is incredibly good fun, but a bit repetitive. But then again most things are now. Walking to the shops is a little worse than the same daunting task it used to be. Now you have to dodge the occasional granny on her scooter or the man who thinks the pavement is a sign to score points as he attempts to run everyone over. The game is worth getting, but don't expect a grand storyline. It's a do this, this and this, if you choose to, and then you've completed the game. You could probably get the same amount of fun when you and your friends decide to go to the local supermarket and play battle trolleys.
8.9/10
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Reviews, shoes and a little bit of bacon
Sorry if the title is kinda random. Anyway, I decided dedicate this post to reviewing several movies, games, etc, even if such things have been out for a long period of time I have only just got them so there.
Movie: Sunshine (2007)
I recently got this because it was part of a 3 DVDs for £15 deal. Sounds like an immensely boring movie since it, funnily enough, bases itself around the sun. It's all star cast containing the bloke from the Batman Begins movie, and the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four movies is not exactly impressive to say the least, but at least it explains the origin of the Human Torch. Not actually but it's a nice thought. The movie begins with a crew of astronauts (roughly 7 or 8 of them. The number just never seemed extremely important to me) who set out to revive the sun through the use of some big ass bomb. The movie is set a good 50 years in the future so there' s no need to worry just yet. Each member of the crew, as with most of these survival type movies, is killed off in a different and obscure manner just to keep the movie going and the audience to continue watching it probably, but it all works well. The plot, and simple space physics or whatever its called now, are almost ridiculous but it fits well enough. I know I have criticised this movie to the furthest point but only in your best interest...I think. Anyway, the movie is well worth watching if you are just looking for a good movie to watch in your spare time. Don't expect too many fan clubs, or fans for that matter as some people are just oblivious to great movies and spend their time watching a film with Orlando Bloom or someone else you wished was dead.
7.8/10
Music: Thrice - Alchemy Index Vol: III & IV (Earth and Air) Early review
Now, if you happened to know me you would know that I am not a fan of Thrice. I am follower to the sacred words spoken by them. While owning their entire disc collection, including their early releases and DVD, decorated my 'My Pictures' and desktop with thousand of pictures of them, learned to play several of their songs, it would be an insult to them, and myself, if I said that I didn't like this album. Well, I can't say I do like it...yet. The album is yet to be released and as I am not a famous reviewer I did not enter the untouchable list of who gets an early copy. Thus, it would be wrong to properly review the album just now. But I may as well. While the previous two volumes contained some of their heavier style of music (Fire) and some of their electronic style (Water), Earth and Air take a more folky route. Several of the songs have been played live for promotional use, which I managed to get a hold of, and I have to say they are completely different. Thrice is not the same band they were in the beginning. Everything has changed. There is no way to define Thrice as any particular genre as they take on so many every time. The best way to describe them is experimental/God-like because every album is so different. It is easy to say that after you've heard the first few albums, but this takes it to an all new level. I know you're probably all thinking, "Oh, you cad. How can you still say this when you still haven't bought the album?" Well, the truth is, and always has been, that Thrice was created by God who sent them onto earth to create the best music imaginable. They have managed that so far so it would not be fair to them if I said that the next volumes are going to be a steaming pile of shite. But maybe I am hyping this up a bit too much. I am yet to listen them live and the new album might not be perfect. But who or what is? Besides Dustin Kensrue, Teppei Teranishi, Eddie Breckenridge and Riley Breckenridge. Oh, wait. That's all the members of Thrice. Oh well. Can't argue with the facts.
Movie: Blood Diamond (2007)
'Blood Diamond' was another of those 3 for £15 DVD's that I got. It stars Leonardo Di Caprio.............................................................................what a great start. Don't get me wrong, in his more recent movies such as 'The Departed' and 'Blood Diamond' itself he has been a fantastic actor. He takes the role of a man named Archer who is a South African ex-mercenary, now diamonds smuggler, whose life is determined on finding diamonds in which he can then sell on to some asshole prick in London, England. Rebel forces in Sierra Leone are determined to find these diamonds so they can buy bigger and better weapons to obliterate the rest of the population with because they gave them a funny look...possibly. Our main man Solomon Vandy, who we meet at the beginning of this tragic story, has been taken hostage to serve in the diamond mines. Strangely, he finds a diamond. Never saw it coming. Anyway, he managed to sneak away and hide it, and is then pursued by Archer who wishes to sell it to meet his own ends, and by the rebels who wish to sell it so they can kill more and more people. A great movie if you just want to watch something good for a change. Great acting, great character development, and for those insecure sickos, there is a lot people getting killer. There's not much else to say besides the fact that Mr Di Caprio may be going back to his usual shite movies after this so it may be good to enjoy this while you can.
8.0/10
Movie: Sunshine (2007)
I recently got this because it was part of a 3 DVDs for £15 deal. Sounds like an immensely boring movie since it, funnily enough, bases itself around the sun. It's all star cast containing the bloke from the Batman Begins movie, and the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four movies is not exactly impressive to say the least, but at least it explains the origin of the Human Torch. Not actually but it's a nice thought. The movie begins with a crew of astronauts (roughly 7 or 8 of them. The number just never seemed extremely important to me) who set out to revive the sun through the use of some big ass bomb. The movie is set a good 50 years in the future so there' s no need to worry just yet. Each member of the crew, as with most of these survival type movies, is killed off in a different and obscure manner just to keep the movie going and the audience to continue watching it probably, but it all works well. The plot, and simple space physics or whatever its called now, are almost ridiculous but it fits well enough. I know I have criticised this movie to the furthest point but only in your best interest...I think. Anyway, the movie is well worth watching if you are just looking for a good movie to watch in your spare time. Don't expect too many fan clubs, or fans for that matter as some people are just oblivious to great movies and spend their time watching a film with Orlando Bloom or someone else you wished was dead.
7.8/10
Music: Thrice - Alchemy Index Vol: III & IV (Earth and Air) Early review
Now, if you happened to know me you would know that I am not a fan of Thrice. I am follower to the sacred words spoken by them. While owning their entire disc collection, including their early releases and DVD, decorated my 'My Pictures' and desktop with thousand of pictures of them, learned to play several of their songs, it would be an insult to them, and myself, if I said that I didn't like this album. Well, I can't say I do like it...yet. The album is yet to be released and as I am not a famous reviewer I did not enter the untouchable list of who gets an early copy. Thus, it would be wrong to properly review the album just now. But I may as well. While the previous two volumes contained some of their heavier style of music (Fire) and some of their electronic style (Water), Earth and Air take a more folky route. Several of the songs have been played live for promotional use, which I managed to get a hold of, and I have to say they are completely different. Thrice is not the same band they were in the beginning. Everything has changed. There is no way to define Thrice as any particular genre as they take on so many every time. The best way to describe them is experimental/God-like because every album is so different. It is easy to say that after you've heard the first few albums, but this takes it to an all new level. I know you're probably all thinking, "Oh, you cad. How can you still say this when you still haven't bought the album?" Well, the truth is, and always has been, that Thrice was created by God who sent them onto earth to create the best music imaginable. They have managed that so far so it would not be fair to them if I said that the next volumes are going to be a steaming pile of shite. But maybe I am hyping this up a bit too much. I am yet to listen them live and the new album might not be perfect. But who or what is? Besides Dustin Kensrue, Teppei Teranishi, Eddie Breckenridge and Riley Breckenridge. Oh, wait. That's all the members of Thrice. Oh well. Can't argue with the facts.
Movie: Blood Diamond (2007)
'Blood Diamond' was another of those 3 for £15 DVD's that I got. It stars Leonardo Di Caprio.............................................................................what a great start. Don't get me wrong, in his more recent movies such as 'The Departed' and 'Blood Diamond' itself he has been a fantastic actor. He takes the role of a man named Archer who is a South African ex-mercenary, now diamonds smuggler, whose life is determined on finding diamonds in which he can then sell on to some asshole prick in London, England. Rebel forces in Sierra Leone are determined to find these diamonds so they can buy bigger and better weapons to obliterate the rest of the population with because they gave them a funny look...possibly. Our main man Solomon Vandy, who we meet at the beginning of this tragic story, has been taken hostage to serve in the diamond mines. Strangely, he finds a diamond. Never saw it coming. Anyway, he managed to sneak away and hide it, and is then pursued by Archer who wishes to sell it to meet his own ends, and by the rebels who wish to sell it so they can kill more and more people. A great movie if you just want to watch something good for a change. Great acting, great character development, and for those insecure sickos, there is a lot people getting killer. There's not much else to say besides the fact that Mr Di Caprio may be going back to his usual shite movies after this so it may be good to enjoy this while you can.
8.0/10
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