Something I missed out

I made the fatal error yesterday of not including a game in the reviews. Now, due to my poor decision, my desperately required manhood is threatened by a midget Russian girl who insists on stapling everything. And I mean everything!

Game: Burnout Paradise (2008)

Although the world of Burnout has been going on for several years, we automatically assume that another game of a similar manner will in fact be the same. But what separates this game from the other bastard children brought onto this earth by Criterion is that it has one major difference. Free-roam. A lot more games are adding in free-roaming because it shows off all the amazing and colourful graphics that they have spent years developing. You still get the same game modes as you did before, but because of the free-roam feature you are ending up at the top of a fucking mountain where you can choose whether it's more fun to find a follow a set road to get to your target or if its better to use the board from Twister and let that decide your direction. Previously, you would follow a straight road that threw in a few bends just to keep all the people with the mental age of 3 entertained. It worked though. Kept me entertained for hours. But back to highly recommendable features of the new game. As I mentioned before, free-roaming allows the developer to show off their awesome graphics. An example of this would be car crashes. I have spent time after time just racing along the road in the fastest car possible just so I can crash into some asshole civilian car that has remarkably just appeared out of no where. You will get to see the car crumple up in slow motion as the cars collide. I think it's amazing what they've done with that game, but there are some minor things I don't like. For starters, the world takes hold of one fairly sized city on one side of the map and the rest is the biggest collection of the most bloody annoying country roads you could ever come across. Whenever I complete a race, somehow, due the game having some sort of an obscure hate for me, I'll end up in the countryside, away up in the mountains. My solutions to this problem are this: speed on down the hill and hate myself for wasting such precious time, find a race or similar so that I don't notice the crappy journey home, or, if I'm really pissed off, I'll turn the game off. Another issue I take with game is that whenever you get a new car, and your always getting a new car, you get the choice between the speedy but persistently weak cars, or the strong, steady cars that look like they've been designed by a combination show called 'Queer eye for the straight car'.

There's not much else to say about the game except that is incredibly good fun, but a bit repetitive. But then again most things are now. Walking to the shops is a little worse than the same daunting task it used to be. Now you have to dodge the occasional granny on her scooter or the man who thinks the pavement is a sign to score points as he attempts to run everyone over. The game is worth getting, but don't expect a grand storyline. It's a do this, this and this, if you choose to, and then you've completed the game. You could probably get the same amount of fun when you and your friends decide to go to the local supermarket and play battle trolleys.

8.9/10